Welcome to the Brown Shirt Club 🤎

(aka… the moms who care “too much”)

There’s a moment…
And if you’ve been in the dance world long enough, you know exactly the one I’m talking about.

It’s not on stage.
It’s not during awards.
It’s not even in the studio.

It’s the moment you hear…
Through the grapevine…
That someone had something to say about you. Or your dancer.

And suddenly, all the joy… the pride… the magic of what your kid just did…
Gets just a little quieter.

I’ve been in this world for a minute now.

Rachel has been dancing since she was 2½… competing for 9 years… and somehow, here we are at 15, still living this wild, beautiful, exhausting, emotional dance life.

And if I’m being really honest with you…
Even now… I still feel it sometimes.

That whisper.
That side-eye.
That “must be nice…” energy.

The “Brown Shirt Club” (Yes, I said it 🤎)

So let’s just call it what it is.

Apparently…
Some of us are the “brown nosers.”

The “pick me” moms.
The “extra” ones.
The ones who “do too much.”

You know…
The ones with the spreadsheets.
The ones organizing things.
The ones hyping up not just their kid… but everyone else’s too.

The ones who show up early. Stay late.
Clap the loudest.
Volunteer. Support. Share. Promote. Encourage.

Yeah… those moms.

So fine.
If that’s what we are…

Welcome to the Brown Shirt Club. 🤎
(Merch line coming soon… don’t @ me, UPS, you already claimed the color 😂)

The Moment That Got Me

Earlier this season, there was a moment.

An opportunity came up.
An exciting one.

And instead of it being celebrated across the board…
There were whispers.

Comments.
Assumptions.
That quiet narrative that somehow…
Effort = favoritism.

That support = strategy.
That kindness = calculation.

And I’ll be honest…

It broke me a little.

Not even fully because of my own dancer…
But because of what it represented.

Because I truly believed I had created a space… even just in my own corner of this world… where everyone felt included, supported, and seen.

And in that moment… it felt like maybe I hadn’t.

Let’s Talk About the Reality No One Wants to Say Out Loud

There will always be people who:

✨ Diminish your child’s success
✨ Question their opportunities
✨ Assume the worst about your intentions
✨ Try to make your light feel like it’s “too much”

And it doesn’t matter how kind you are.
How inclusive you try to be.
How much you pour into others.

Sometimes… people just choose negativity.

But Here’s the Shift That Changed Everything for Me

You can be a thermometer…
Or a thermostat.

A thermometer reacts to the room.
It rises and falls based on what’s around it.

A thermostat?
It sets the temperature.

And I don’t know about you…
But I refuse to spend this dance life shrinking myself to make other people comfortable.

So What Do We Do With All Those Big Feelings?

Because let’s not pretend they’re not there.

That pit in your stomach when you hear something.
The frustration.
The hurt.
The urge to defend, explain, prove.

It’s real.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

💙 Not every opinion deserves your response
💙 Not every room deserves your energy
💙 And not every narrative deserves your belief

Instead…

✨ Surround yourself with the moms who clap for every kid
✨ The ones who text you “she did amazing” even when it’s not their dancer
✨ The ones who get it without needing it explained

And when you find the ones who just want to gossip, complain, and live in that negative space?

Run.

Not walk.
Run.

And Let’s Clear One Thing Up…

Our dancers?

They don’t get everything.

They don’t just “get handed opportunities.”

They work.

Before school.
After school.
Weekends.
Long nights.
Early mornings.

They fall. They fail. They get back up.

They do this because they love it.

And we support them because we love them.

It really is that simple.

So If You’ve Ever Felt This…

If you’ve ever:

🤎 Been labeled “too much”
🤎 Felt judged for how much you care
🤎 Heard the whispers
🤎 Questioned if you should just… do less

I need you to hear this loud and clear:

You are not alone.

And you are not wrong for loving your kid loudly.

Stay Kind Anyway

Here’s the part that might not make sense to everyone…

But I will still choose kindness.

Even when it’s not returned.
Even when it’s not deserved.

Because that’s who I am.

And I’d rather be known as the mom who showed up with love…
Than the one who dimmed herself to fit in.

So Yeah… I’ll Own It

Call me extra.
Call me a pick me.
Call me a brown noser.

I’ll just be over here…

In my Brown Shirt.

Clapping for your kid.
Cheering for mine.
And building a space where both can exist.

If This Hit Home…

Take a second.

Breathe.
Reflect.

And if you’re in this club with me…

You already know.

You’re my kind of people. 🤎

Drop a comment if you’ve ever felt this…
Share this with a dance mom who needs it…
And stick around.

Because this space?

It’s for the ones who care “too much.”

Until next time, TCDM Fam. 💙